I'm not sure how I am lately. Functioning. And wishing I could be more productive. Everything's up in the air atm... job, career, life, future. I can't say any more about that for confidentiality reasons.

I don't want to talk about Subaru. Well, I can, I guess. Everything went smoothly on the 19th as it should, she was taken away by a very nice older man with a tow truck who just dragged her by the front axle up onto the flatbed. It was still traumatic though, but then again, how is trauma addressed? It's how we put events into perspective over time, that's when we come to the conclusion that something was a traumatic event or it wasn't. I can still hear that flatbed tow truck backing into our driveway. Worse still, our neighbours across the street are having thousands of dollars of renovations done to their house, including digging a new ditch. Now I wake up to that same sound of engines and those same sounds of machinery backing up every morning. It just triggers the memory in the back of my mind. It doesn't upset me on the outside but it's just... there. The good news is I think they'll be done soon. I want to thank someone in specific for commenting on my last entry. While everyone has shown their support - for which I am immensely grateful - and I haven't talked since the wintertime, we had a little bit of a falling out I guess you could say, so it was really nice to hear from her kind of out of the blue. Thank you, Neo.

Maybe it's the grieving process that, as I say, I'm sure is still going on in the back of my mind but not much feels like it used to. I feel like I'm drifting, I'm spending too much time doing the wrong things, and not any time on the important things (which include my online life, because that is important to me). It's hard to explain and I don't know what's causing it, but I hope it'll be over soon.